black void

I feel like I've fallen into a black void and can't get out. I've never felt so low. I'm crying even as I write this.
What's gone wrong? I feel inadequate, like I'm not looking after Sophie properly. Although I know deep down I am. I feel like I'm neglecting William-even though I'm spending ages playing with him every day. I wake up with a sense of dread about the day, every day. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to - every night I fall asleep on the sofa about 9pm, before Mike and I can even think about watching some TV. I'm sick of expressing, sterilising, washing up. The house is a mess. I have no appetite and can't even be bothered to wash my hair or put on make up. So I'm a mess too.
I'm totally shutting Mike out. I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling - would anyone understand? I'm lonely and need a support network here in Herne Bay like I had in maidenhead.
I honestly don't know how I've fallen into this black void. But I need to know how to get out.