My mother in law has been slowly dying since Monday night. Mike is by her bedside, as is his dad and brother. They took her off everything yesterday at noon - drip etc - and expected her to die within 2 hours. 26 hours later, she's still alive, although her breathing is shallow and she hasn't moved for 4 hours apparently.
Beaky came over yesterday and Rav is here today - he's just gone to get me some groceries as I have all 3 kids today and going anywhere is impossible. I feel upset and weird about the whole thing. Mike is in a terrible way, having just sat at her bedside watching her die since he got to the hospital at about midnight on Monday night. I've had 2 crap nights sleep waiting for the phone to ring with the inevitable news and feel so drained. Nothing like he must be feeling though. This is so prolonged and painful - just waiting to die. Apparently she doesn't even look like Joyce anymore - she's sunken and so frail.
I have a headache. My lovely, lovely husband shouldn't have to go through this. I was never massively close to Joyce, but it's still upsetting. I feel detached from it here though- like it's not really real.
Surely she can't last much longer? For everyone's sake?
Wednesday 30 April 2008
Monday 28 April 2008
Worried
I wrote a whole entry earlier, and it just got eaten.
In a nutshell. It's 7.52pm, and Mike is on his way to Plymouth to see his mum - complications following her op have turned serious and the hospitral suggested next to kin were called in. I just spoke to him and she's more 'with it' now according to his brother, but the doctors are saying next 24 hrs are crucial. We all thought she was recovering really well - this has come as a real shock.
I feel churny, anxious, lonely, sad, upset, and worried all at once. What will happen? Will she make it? I'd like to speak to her again. Will keep you updated..........
In a nutshell. It's 7.52pm, and Mike is on his way to Plymouth to see his mum - complications following her op have turned serious and the hospitral suggested next to kin were called in. I just spoke to him and she's more 'with it' now according to his brother, but the doctors are saying next 24 hrs are crucial. We all thought she was recovering really well - this has come as a real shock.
I feel churny, anxious, lonely, sad, upset, and worried all at once. What will happen? Will she make it? I'd like to speak to her again. Will keep you updated..........
Wednesday 23 April 2008
Do all good things have to come to an end?
We ended up having a blast yesterday afternoon in the sunshine! When William woke up from his nap we went to the park for over an hour - it was busy and lovely and William had great fun playing with his ball, going on the swings ('fimbs') and generally being gorgeous. On the way there he walked and was pointing out everything along the way - cats, walls, flowers.........it was so cute! He ate a massive dinner - his appetite has been HUGE recently! - and then Mike got home in time to put him to bed whilst I tutored.
Last night he slept really badly though - 2nd night in a row. We've been really lucky with his sleep recently - he's been going down at 7pm, waking once, maybe twice (but being easily settled) and then sleeping through til at least 7am. It's been great - some proper sleep, finally! But last night he was really coughing all night and was restless and whingey, finally waking at 5.50am. Nothing really settled him and I feel knackered this morning. So was he, until he went for his nap - ridiculously early, it's only 10am and he normally doesn't nap until 12.30-1pm.
He felt a little hot before I put him down and he's still got his bad cough. I sincerely hope he isn't going to get ill again. He's only just got over that nasty chest & ear infection. *deep sigh* For some reason I always feel guilty when he gets ill, like.....it's my fault. I don't know why. I know they have to get all these bugs to build immunity, and he's definitely started picking more stuff up since we started going to playgroup twice a week. I've given him calpol but I don't want to give him too much of that......that makes me feel guilty too. ARRGHHHH! Being a mother is such hard work sometimes. The worry, the lack of sleep, the guilt. Bleugh.
So it's a wet and miserable Wednesday - complete contrast to yesterday's sunshine. Was going to go to the library this morning but that hasn't happened obviously. Might be a stay-at-home day.........*yawns* - a little dull. I can't go out later as I have Louis as well as Rebecca. I'll see how William is when he wakes up.
Tuesday 22 April 2008
Rambling
I just ate lunch al fresco! It's gorgeous today - sunny and warm . Mmmmmm! I love summer. The winter has been so loooooooooooong, and miserable! I'm listening to Rule the World by Take That on YouTube - must be pregnancy hormones or something, but this song makes me v emotional at the moment.......
Both children are napping. Went to playgroup this morning - William loved it, especially the garage and little cars! Rebecca, of course, screamed her head off for most of it. I'm seriously at the end. of. my. TETHER with this child. I just wanted to have a chat with my friends, play with William and instead I end up getting wound up and just wanting to throw her through a window. She seems to hate playgroup - no idea why. God, she does my head in.
A thought occured to me at lunch - I hope William doesn't pick up on my tenseness. I try to remain calm as much as possible but I'm only human. He gets exasparated with her, just as I do. I want this home to be a happy, chilled home and it doesn't feel like that a lot of the time when she's here. But what can I do? I need to make a big effort to remain calm all the time I guess. 2 months to go.......
Speaking of William, I've also been trying to remain as calm as possible with some of his exasparating toddler-isms. These include:
1) Obsession with the toothpaste. Eating it, smearing it on my toothbrush. Again and again and again.
2) Opening and shutting the fridge, getting food out. Despite my protests. We had a smashed bottle of milk this morning.
3) Leading me by the hand to places when I've just sat down. Like the front room. Or kitchen.
4) Snacking round the clock. Asking for 'more' when he has food in both hands.
5) Shrieking. God, I hate this habit.
6) Lack of interest with ALL of his toys!
I've already fallen into the trap of being pretty lenient with most things to avoid major tantrums. I'm quite a relaxed parent and have fairly relaxed boundaries, but I need to ensure I stick to these boundaries.
I guess I need to be more patient. I thought I was.....I suspect I'm a lot more patient than other parents, but not as patient as I'd like to do. When it takes us 30 mins to walk 5 mins down the road to the shop, I remind myself that everything is fascinating to a 20 month old.....the gates, the bush, the cars. I just want William to feel loved, secure, and safe, and I'm sure he does. I don't want to be an 'exasparated' parent, always tutting and taking deep breaths.
Things will be so much easier when we move. I can't wait. I'm done here. I'm fed up with this place, the people, the lack of interesting stuff to do. If I had a car, or could indeed drive, we could be off somewhere fun this afternoon. Ugh. I feel a bit hard done by I guess. All my mummy friends have their mums nearby and spend loads of time with them in the week. They all have cars. I feel a bit..........isolated. I was going to go to the library this afternoon, but William woke at 5am - yes, 5am!!! - this morning, and the thought of pushing the double buggy up the hill is just too tiring. If I had just William, we could take the bus. So I guess it'll be the park again!
This is a bit of a rambling entry. I'm in a chipper mood, just a bit...........thoughtful. The peace in this room is lovely. No music, no TV. I can hear the birds chirruping. Wish I could take a nap..........
Both children are napping. Went to playgroup this morning - William loved it, especially the garage and little cars! Rebecca, of course, screamed her head off for most of it. I'm seriously at the end. of. my. TETHER with this child. I just wanted to have a chat with my friends, play with William and instead I end up getting wound up and just wanting to throw her through a window. She seems to hate playgroup - no idea why. God, she does my head in.
A thought occured to me at lunch - I hope William doesn't pick up on my tenseness. I try to remain calm as much as possible but I'm only human. He gets exasparated with her, just as I do. I want this home to be a happy, chilled home and it doesn't feel like that a lot of the time when she's here. But what can I do? I need to make a big effort to remain calm all the time I guess. 2 months to go.......
Speaking of William, I've also been trying to remain as calm as possible with some of his exasparating toddler-isms. These include:
1) Obsession with the toothpaste. Eating it, smearing it on my toothbrush. Again and again and again.
2) Opening and shutting the fridge, getting food out. Despite my protests. We had a smashed bottle of milk this morning.
3) Leading me by the hand to places when I've just sat down. Like the front room. Or kitchen.
4) Snacking round the clock. Asking for 'more' when he has food in both hands.
5) Shrieking. God, I hate this habit.
6) Lack of interest with ALL of his toys!
I've already fallen into the trap of being pretty lenient with most things to avoid major tantrums. I'm quite a relaxed parent and have fairly relaxed boundaries, but I need to ensure I stick to these boundaries.
I guess I need to be more patient. I thought I was.....I suspect I'm a lot more patient than other parents, but not as patient as I'd like to do. When it takes us 30 mins to walk 5 mins down the road to the shop, I remind myself that everything is fascinating to a 20 month old.....the gates, the bush, the cars. I just want William to feel loved, secure, and safe, and I'm sure he does. I don't want to be an 'exasparated' parent, always tutting and taking deep breaths.
Things will be so much easier when we move. I can't wait. I'm done here. I'm fed up with this place, the people, the lack of interesting stuff to do. If I had a car, or could indeed drive, we could be off somewhere fun this afternoon. Ugh. I feel a bit hard done by I guess. All my mummy friends have their mums nearby and spend loads of time with them in the week. They all have cars. I feel a bit..........isolated. I was going to go to the library this afternoon, but William woke at 5am - yes, 5am!!! - this morning, and the thought of pushing the double buggy up the hill is just too tiring. If I had just William, we could take the bus. So I guess it'll be the park again!
This is a bit of a rambling entry. I'm in a chipper mood, just a bit...........thoughtful. The peace in this room is lovely. No music, no TV. I can hear the birds chirruping. Wish I could take a nap..........
Monday 21 April 2008
Luurverly weekend!
Fab weekend, as always :-)
Friday was just such a lovely day. I LOVE it when Mike's here - it can be a little lonely being a SAHM and everything is just so much more relaaaaaaaxed when he's here!! After the scan (and the news! Jeez - still can't believe it's true - I daren't believe it might!!) we had a really chilled afternoon. I tutored and he took William to the park. Then in the evening I WENT OUT!!! Haven't been out for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages. I went to a swank Thai with all my Maidenhead mummy mates - Deirdre, Julia, Angela, Mandy, Sarah and Lucy. It was lovely - Deirdre and I were giggling so much! The food was FIT. I kept on thinking about leaving this town in just over 2 months, and it made me so sad. The girls still don't know - it's going to be so hard telling them, especially Deirdre and Julia who are really good friends. I think I'm going to have to tell them soon though.
Speaking of telling people - I'm telling Rebecca's mum and Louis's mum this week that I'm a) pregnant b) moving to Kent c) no longer looker after their children from July. EEEEK! Talk about a triple whammy. This is also not going to be easy but I'm determined to do it THIS WEEK. *grits teeth*
We went to Rugby on Saturday to see Buzz (Jacqui) and Meat (Mark). It was lovely. William loved all the space in their house and he especially loved their cats ('tats')! I had a special pregnancy massage on Saturday which was bliss too, whilst Mike and Sausage fed the ducks!
Money is a little concern at the moment, which it hasn't been for ages actually. I'm not really tutoring enough and I need to do more. A lot of my students disappeared over the Easter break. It's just about ok I think at the moment.......
Went to Big Fun soft play this morning which was great fun except for a screaming Rebecca. So this afternoon I think I'm just going to stay in. It's a bit wet and yuck out there. I need to get some more at-home activities for William - he seems a bit bored of everything at the moment.
I'm thinking:
1) sticklebricks
2) paints
3) felt-tip pens - he loves drawing
4) eeerrmm......
I've been sweating the small stuff waaaaaaay too much recently. Getting stressed about little, unimportant things. I'm not doing that anymore. I also always have a very small, very vague sense of anxiety about something, permanently there in the background - no matter how chilled and relaxed and happy I am. I need to get rid of that somehow. For the most part though, I'm happy and sunny and positive and YAY!
Right, William's been asleep for 1 hr 10 mins - better do some washing up and stuff!
Friday was just such a lovely day. I LOVE it when Mike's here - it can be a little lonely being a SAHM and everything is just so much more relaaaaaaaxed when he's here!! After the scan (and the news! Jeez - still can't believe it's true - I daren't believe it might!!) we had a really chilled afternoon. I tutored and he took William to the park. Then in the evening I WENT OUT!!! Haven't been out for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages. I went to a swank Thai with all my Maidenhead mummy mates - Deirdre, Julia, Angela, Mandy, Sarah and Lucy. It was lovely - Deirdre and I were giggling so much! The food was FIT. I kept on thinking about leaving this town in just over 2 months, and it made me so sad. The girls still don't know - it's going to be so hard telling them, especially Deirdre and Julia who are really good friends. I think I'm going to have to tell them soon though.
Speaking of telling people - I'm telling Rebecca's mum and Louis's mum this week that I'm a) pregnant b) moving to Kent c) no longer looker after their children from July. EEEEK! Talk about a triple whammy. This is also not going to be easy but I'm determined to do it THIS WEEK. *grits teeth*
We went to Rugby on Saturday to see Buzz (Jacqui) and Meat (Mark). It was lovely. William loved all the space in their house and he especially loved their cats ('tats')! I had a special pregnancy massage on Saturday which was bliss too, whilst Mike and Sausage fed the ducks!
Money is a little concern at the moment, which it hasn't been for ages actually. I'm not really tutoring enough and I need to do more. A lot of my students disappeared over the Easter break. It's just about ok I think at the moment.......
Went to Big Fun soft play this morning which was great fun except for a screaming Rebecca. So this afternoon I think I'm just going to stay in. It's a bit wet and yuck out there. I need to get some more at-home activities for William - he seems a bit bored of everything at the moment.
I'm thinking:
1) sticklebricks
2) paints
3) felt-tip pens - he loves drawing
4) eeerrmm......
I've been sweating the small stuff waaaaaaay too much recently. Getting stressed about little, unimportant things. I'm not doing that anymore. I also always have a very small, very vague sense of anxiety about something, permanently there in the background - no matter how chilled and relaxed and happy I am. I need to get rid of that somehow. For the most part though, I'm happy and sunny and positive and YAY!
Right, William's been asleep for 1 hr 10 mins - better do some washing up and stuff!
Friday 18 April 2008
It's a.............:-D
......................GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously-I can't believe it's true! I can't believe I could be that lucky! A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! A GIRL!!!!! Woweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
The scan went really, really well. Importantly, the baby is doing great and spot on in terms of measurements etc. Initially the cord was between the baby's legs and I looked at it and thought 'wow, that's a giant willy!'. But then once it had moved she said that it 'looked like a little girl' and that she thought she could see LABIA!!! My eyes actually filled with tears when she said that - I couldn't believe it!!!! No matter how much I tried to deny it to myself.........I really would love a little girl!
The thing is, I know mistakes do happen and people are told the wrong things in scans. I don't want to go crazy buying pink stuff - just in case! But............mistakes are rare, surely?! Oh my GOSH!!!!!
It certainly explains why I've been so poorly this pregnancy with all the sickness etc. And I just had a girl vibe from early on. Just goes to show - instincts are often right!
Anyway - just came on to tell my dear diary the fabulous news!! Off to Rugby this weekend-YAY!! xxxx
Seriously-I can't believe it's true! I can't believe I could be that lucky! A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! A GIRL!!!!! Woweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
The scan went really, really well. Importantly, the baby is doing great and spot on in terms of measurements etc. Initially the cord was between the baby's legs and I looked at it and thought 'wow, that's a giant willy!'. But then once it had moved she said that it 'looked like a little girl' and that she thought she could see LABIA!!! My eyes actually filled with tears when she said that - I couldn't believe it!!!! No matter how much I tried to deny it to myself.........I really would love a little girl!
The thing is, I know mistakes do happen and people are told the wrong things in scans. I don't want to go crazy buying pink stuff - just in case! But............mistakes are rare, surely?! Oh my GOSH!!!!!
It certainly explains why I've been so poorly this pregnancy with all the sickness etc. And I just had a girl vibe from early on. Just goes to show - instincts are often right!
Anyway - just came on to tell my dear diary the fabulous news!! Off to Rugby this weekend-YAY!! xxxx
Tuesday 15 April 2008
And breathe
A rather stressful morning.
Rebecca has screamed like a banshee for most of it. She cries at everything - when I try to leave the room, when I go upstairs, when William so much as taps her..........it's so wearying and I feel myself boiling up with rage as her cry just goes straight through me, it's hideous. I never thought I'd feel such anger towards a child.
I can't bear this job any longer. This stress is not good for my health.
We went for a lovely walk in the sun this morning to the pharmacy and shop to buy Pregnacare, toothbrushes, and envelopes. I'm really not feeling that patient with William this morning though either-not sure why. When he tried to draw on the radiator with felt-tip pens I was not impressed.
My throat is better. Major drama with my brother yesterday! He rang from Chicago for some 'sisterly advice' - I found that really touching! He's been dating his girlfriend Becky on and off for aaaaaages - about 7 years or something. But in Chicago he's met a new girl, Erin, who is really into sports and much more like him. So Becky came out to visit him last Sunday and he basically realised he had to finish with Becky - which he did last night after I'd talked to him. But of an EEK situation but I think he's done the right thing.
And Mike's brother's fiance had a baby yesterday by c-section! It's called Brandon....not sure about the name at all, reminds me of Beverly Hills 90210 but hey!!!!!
3 days til the scan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rebecca has screamed like a banshee for most of it. She cries at everything - when I try to leave the room, when I go upstairs, when William so much as taps her..........it's so wearying and I feel myself boiling up with rage as her cry just goes straight through me, it's hideous. I never thought I'd feel such anger towards a child.
I can't bear this job any longer. This stress is not good for my health.
We went for a lovely walk in the sun this morning to the pharmacy and shop to buy Pregnacare, toothbrushes, and envelopes. I'm really not feeling that patient with William this morning though either-not sure why. When he tried to draw on the radiator with felt-tip pens I was not impressed.
My throat is better. Major drama with my brother yesterday! He rang from Chicago for some 'sisterly advice' - I found that really touching! He's been dating his girlfriend Becky on and off for aaaaaages - about 7 years or something. But in Chicago he's met a new girl, Erin, who is really into sports and much more like him. So Becky came out to visit him last Sunday and he basically realised he had to finish with Becky - which he did last night after I'd talked to him. But of an EEK situation but I think he's done the right thing.
And Mike's brother's fiance had a baby yesterday by c-section! It's called Brandon....not sure about the name at all, reminds me of Beverly Hills 90210 but hey!!!!!
3 days til the scan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday 14 April 2008
Yet more illness!
Hurumph. I'm in a really chipper mood today but I seem to have come down with yet another bloody illness. I have a really painful throat - it's like swallowing razor blades! - all my glands are up and I feel shattered. I really, really hope it's not the same thing that Deirdre had, as that lasted for 3 weeks!!!!!!
Fight it off!! Fight it off! Lemon & ginger tea, bizarrely, is really helping. But what I actually need is a nice fat dose of Nurofen, or a lemsip. Being ill when pregnant really, really sucks.
To be honest, I'd much rather it me be ill than William - and he's soooooo much better. We had a lovely weekend in Bristol (apart from a few stressful moments when I could really have done with Mike....).
Anyway. I'm having a kick-ass day, doing housework and all sorts. I need to take William and Rebecca out today when they wake up but I really don't feel like it. Might brave the park - but jeez, I'm so bored of that place. Hmmmm........
Fight it off!! Fight it off! Lemon & ginger tea, bizarrely, is really helping. But what I actually need is a nice fat dose of Nurofen, or a lemsip. Being ill when pregnant really, really sucks.
To be honest, I'd much rather it me be ill than William - and he's soooooo much better. We had a lovely weekend in Bristol (apart from a few stressful moments when I could really have done with Mike....).
Anyway. I'm having a kick-ass day, doing housework and all sorts. I need to take William and Rebecca out today when they wake up but I really don't feel like it. Might brave the park - but jeez, I'm so bored of that place. Hmmmm........
Saturday 12 April 2008
Quickie
.....I'm off to Bristol this morning to see my dear friends! Mike's on a boys weekend. Booooo. I hate it when we don't spend the weekend together. It hardly ever happens to be honest. But I look after William all week, and it's nice to have someone to help out at the weekend.
Anyway! Brief bullets...........
1) Mini-cookie is kicking LOADS at the moment. I love it! So reassuring. Also am looking very very pregnant.....and I'm only 19 weeks!!!!
2) 20 wk scan next Friday. Very excited!!! I'm getting a little obsessional over the whole boy/girl thing - just like I did with William. Yes, I want a girl - I'd love a daughter, and this is going to be my last pregnancy so this really is last chance saloon. But I don't want to be disappointed if we discover it's a boy. Because that's really horrid. I really wish I hadn't told everyone I was rooting for a girl - are they going to feel like they have to offer condolences if we find out it's a boy??? At the end of the day a healthy baby is all that matters! I know that deep down!
3) William is slowly getting better thanks to antibiotics. He's still really tired though and slept til 9.15am yesterday!! Madness. After he woke up we met up with Deidre and went to Boulters Lock to feed the ducks. William loved it and quacked like mad - especially when they took bread from his hand! He thought it was hilarious! I just hope he's not going to be ratty today or that will make for a stressful afternoon.
4) He's sleeping right now, which means he'll be awake for the entire car journey to the south west....YIKES!
5) Mike sent me flowers yesterday. They're beautiful and the note says what a wonderful wife and mother I am. I have a very romantic, wonderful husband! We spent the evening snuggled up watching Greys Anatomy and Romeo and Juliet....I must have seen that movie about a million times, but I still cry at the end!
Ok that's it. I'll be going in about an hour probably. Toodlepip for now!
Anyway! Brief bullets...........
1) Mini-cookie is kicking LOADS at the moment. I love it! So reassuring. Also am looking very very pregnant.....and I'm only 19 weeks!!!!
2) 20 wk scan next Friday. Very excited!!! I'm getting a little obsessional over the whole boy/girl thing - just like I did with William. Yes, I want a girl - I'd love a daughter, and this is going to be my last pregnancy so this really is last chance saloon. But I don't want to be disappointed if we discover it's a boy. Because that's really horrid. I really wish I hadn't told everyone I was rooting for a girl - are they going to feel like they have to offer condolences if we find out it's a boy??? At the end of the day a healthy baby is all that matters! I know that deep down!
3) William is slowly getting better thanks to antibiotics. He's still really tired though and slept til 9.15am yesterday!! Madness. After he woke up we met up with Deidre and went to Boulters Lock to feed the ducks. William loved it and quacked like mad - especially when they took bread from his hand! He thought it was hilarious! I just hope he's not going to be ratty today or that will make for a stressful afternoon.
4) He's sleeping right now, which means he'll be awake for the entire car journey to the south west....YIKES!
5) Mike sent me flowers yesterday. They're beautiful and the note says what a wonderful wife and mother I am. I have a very romantic, wonderful husband! We spent the evening snuggled up watching Greys Anatomy and Romeo and Juliet....I must have seen that movie about a million times, but I still cry at the end!
Ok that's it. I'll be going in about an hour probably. Toodlepip for now!
Thursday 10 April 2008
Weird
William's having his longest nap ever and it feels weird. He's been asleep since 12 and it's now just gone 3.30pm!!! His previous longest was just under 3 hours. There's a reason for it: my poor little man has not only an ear infection, but also a chest infection. We went to the docs this morning after it was clear that he was very poorly this morning. I think he's had this all week but it really came out in full throttle today!
I'm just a little concerned that..........ooooh! He's awake. Gotta go....continue later xxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm just a little concerned that..........ooooh! He's awake. Gotta go....continue later xxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday 8 April 2008
Flat
I feel really flat and a little low this morning.
It's the Easter holiday here in Maidenhead, so no Tuesday morning playgroup. :-( Or Thursday morning playgroup. Or MAD music class on Friday...........for 2 weeks!! Bleugh.
We stayed in all day yesterday and it was a loooooooooooong afternoon. Poor Sausage was clingy and out of sorts and brought me book after book to read. He didn't really want to play or anything. Louis was subdued too, and Rebecca......well, she was just her normal pain-in-the-ass self.
I went to bed at 8.50pm after having just soup for dinner and my tummy seems normal now....touch wood. William had a temperature on and off all night which I soothed with infant ibuprofen. He's not right this morning either and went for his nap at 10am....so much earlier than normal.
It's a week since he had the MMR, and he's been ill on and off ever since. They said the main effects occured a week after the jab....which is today. But it's irritating as before the jab he was completely healthy; no colds or anything. He now has: a temperature, a cold, a cough, and gunky eyes! I'm totally pro-vaccine, and he definitely had to have it, but he seems to have had a particularly unpleasant reaction to it. I feel like I'm giving him loads of calpol and ibuprofen-which I'm not really-but how else can I bring his temperature down and make him comfortable?
I hate staying in the house. It's going to get harder & harder for me to go into town etc as I get bigger, as the hill I have to walk up is a killer.....so I think I'll be staying in a lot more before we move. Which is a miserable thought. I'm yearning to move to Whitstable. I just think things will be so much easier over there. 3 months............
And I can't WAIT to stop f*cking childminding. I hate, hate, HATE this job. And I suck at it. I hate doing something I suck at. I was a bloody good teacher. This......is just not me.
Also Mike's off to see his friends this weekend - which is fair enough, he hasn't done that for ages. I'm seeing my uni friends in Bristol, which would be lovely except I fell out with one of them a month ago (long story) and we're supposed to be going over to visit her and the baby on Saturday. For the sake of group harmony, and so it won't be really awkward on Saturday, I need to ring her and say let's just forget about it....but it's a difficult call to make and I really can't be bothered. It wouldn't bother me if I never saw her again - she does my head in and is no kind of friend really. I think I'll do it tomorrow or Thursday. I really can't be arsed today.
So that's why I'm flat today. I wish my mum was just round the corner (she will be in July when we move!). It's a beautfiful day. So what to do with the children after lunch? I could go to the park, or attempt a trip into town to the library?? I'm thinking park. It's close, and we could always go for a nice walk afterwards. I really can't face that walk into town!
It's the Easter holiday here in Maidenhead, so no Tuesday morning playgroup. :-( Or Thursday morning playgroup. Or MAD music class on Friday...........for 2 weeks!! Bleugh.
We stayed in all day yesterday and it was a loooooooooooong afternoon. Poor Sausage was clingy and out of sorts and brought me book after book to read. He didn't really want to play or anything. Louis was subdued too, and Rebecca......well, she was just her normal pain-in-the-ass self.
I went to bed at 8.50pm after having just soup for dinner and my tummy seems normal now....touch wood. William had a temperature on and off all night which I soothed with infant ibuprofen. He's not right this morning either and went for his nap at 10am....so much earlier than normal.
It's a week since he had the MMR, and he's been ill on and off ever since. They said the main effects occured a week after the jab....which is today. But it's irritating as before the jab he was completely healthy; no colds or anything. He now has: a temperature, a cold, a cough, and gunky eyes! I'm totally pro-vaccine, and he definitely had to have it, but he seems to have had a particularly unpleasant reaction to it. I feel like I'm giving him loads of calpol and ibuprofen-which I'm not really-but how else can I bring his temperature down and make him comfortable?
I hate staying in the house. It's going to get harder & harder for me to go into town etc as I get bigger, as the hill I have to walk up is a killer.....so I think I'll be staying in a lot more before we move. Which is a miserable thought. I'm yearning to move to Whitstable. I just think things will be so much easier over there. 3 months............
And I can't WAIT to stop f*cking childminding. I hate, hate, HATE this job. And I suck at it. I hate doing something I suck at. I was a bloody good teacher. This......is just not me.
Also Mike's off to see his friends this weekend - which is fair enough, he hasn't done that for ages. I'm seeing my uni friends in Bristol, which would be lovely except I fell out with one of them a month ago (long story) and we're supposed to be going over to visit her and the baby on Saturday. For the sake of group harmony, and so it won't be really awkward on Saturday, I need to ring her and say let's just forget about it....but it's a difficult call to make and I really can't be bothered. It wouldn't bother me if I never saw her again - she does my head in and is no kind of friend really. I think I'll do it tomorrow or Thursday. I really can't be arsed today.
So that's why I'm flat today. I wish my mum was just round the corner (she will be in July when we move!). It's a beautfiful day. So what to do with the children after lunch? I could go to the park, or attempt a trip into town to the library?? I'm thinking park. It's close, and we could always go for a nice walk afterwards. I really can't face that walk into town!
Monday 7 April 2008
Illness. MMR. Noodles. Birth. Cancer. Ass.
Monday morning and I'm enjoying a little me-time before William wakes up from his nap. He's not well today, bless him. After the MMR jab last Tuesday he's been poorly on and off - a random temperature, extreme tiredness, grumpiness, and now he seems to have a streaming cold. I gave him Medised to help him have a good nap as he was up a LOT last night. As was I.
I'm also not well. Again. Seriously, I'm getting bored of this now. It's one thing after another. On Friday night, after our dear friends Deirdre and Mike had been round for a takeaway, I threw up spectacularly. On Saturday I was fine but yesterday afternoon I started feeling queasy and bloated - which led to yet more vomiting. I went to bed with my stomach completely empty and felt weird this morning - light-headed, dizzy, and nauseous, presumably due to low blood sugar. I had a funny turn where everything went yellow (including me) and I nearly passed out (my lovely husband was propping me up, thank God!) but I'm feeling a bit better now, having kept everything down this morning. I just feel.....weird. Spaced out. And of course, I still have to look after all the little darlings- Rebecca is here as per bloody usual and Louis will be here in 20 mins. JOY!
I don't understand why I've had so much vomiting and diarrhea (sp?) this pregnancy. I'm 18 and a half weeks pregnant - I thought it was all supposed to stop after week 12? Presumably it's all due to when I eat something which mini-cookie disagrees with. Talk about a fussy feotus! Is it worth going to the midwife about it? Probably not - what can she say, really? I know it's not damaging mini-cookie as women have far worse sickness than this. Oh blah de blah. I hate whingeing about being ill.
Anyway. I'll probably stay in this afternoon, which is a bit boring but we had a lovely family weekend. We all went to Noodlebar for lunch on Saturday- William seriously loves that place and eats everything we do - spring rolls, prawn crackers, noodles, rice....even the little fortune cookie at the end! We also took him to the park, and yesterday it snowed loads so he played in the garden with Daddy (who was very mean and threw snowballs in his face! William just laughed!). We also went to soft play at Big Fun, which was lovely. So a day at home today isn't the end of the world.
I'm thinking of looking into some birthing hynotherapy to help me be positive about the forthcoming birth of mini-cookie, as after the horrors of William's labour, the mere thought of contractions makes me really nervous and anxious - which is not going to help matters. I can still remember the pain as clear as day, which went on for 36 looooong hours. I want a positive birth experience this time- and I'm determined to have it. A natural water birth I think in a nice birth centre somewhere in Kent. I'm tempted by a home birth but after the complications with William, it's not really for me.
We made a list of stuff we need for mini-cookie and it's really quite small, which is great. A double buggy, monitor, crib (I like the rocking ones!).....etc. Not much at all. After the scan next Friday we're going to start buying stuff.
In other news my mother-in-law's op was a success and they've removed all the cancer from her lung. She hasn't even got to have chemo! She's been so lucky. She's still in hospital.
Right. It's been good to have a sit-down. William's still asleep. Rebecca is doing my head in, as usual. She's a major pain in the ass. It's now 10 mins til Louis will be here, so I need to disguise my bump somehow - still haven't told his mum!
Adios!
I'm also not well. Again. Seriously, I'm getting bored of this now. It's one thing after another. On Friday night, after our dear friends Deirdre and Mike had been round for a takeaway, I threw up spectacularly. On Saturday I was fine but yesterday afternoon I started feeling queasy and bloated - which led to yet more vomiting. I went to bed with my stomach completely empty and felt weird this morning - light-headed, dizzy, and nauseous, presumably due to low blood sugar. I had a funny turn where everything went yellow (including me) and I nearly passed out (my lovely husband was propping me up, thank God!) but I'm feeling a bit better now, having kept everything down this morning. I just feel.....weird. Spaced out. And of course, I still have to look after all the little darlings- Rebecca is here as per bloody usual and Louis will be here in 20 mins. JOY!
I don't understand why I've had so much vomiting and diarrhea (sp?) this pregnancy. I'm 18 and a half weeks pregnant - I thought it was all supposed to stop after week 12? Presumably it's all due to when I eat something which mini-cookie disagrees with. Talk about a fussy feotus! Is it worth going to the midwife about it? Probably not - what can she say, really? I know it's not damaging mini-cookie as women have far worse sickness than this. Oh blah de blah. I hate whingeing about being ill.
Anyway. I'll probably stay in this afternoon, which is a bit boring but we had a lovely family weekend. We all went to Noodlebar for lunch on Saturday- William seriously loves that place and eats everything we do - spring rolls, prawn crackers, noodles, rice....even the little fortune cookie at the end! We also took him to the park, and yesterday it snowed loads so he played in the garden with Daddy (who was very mean and threw snowballs in his face! William just laughed!). We also went to soft play at Big Fun, which was lovely. So a day at home today isn't the end of the world.
I'm thinking of looking into some birthing hynotherapy to help me be positive about the forthcoming birth of mini-cookie, as after the horrors of William's labour, the mere thought of contractions makes me really nervous and anxious - which is not going to help matters. I can still remember the pain as clear as day, which went on for 36 looooong hours. I want a positive birth experience this time- and I'm determined to have it. A natural water birth I think in a nice birth centre somewhere in Kent. I'm tempted by a home birth but after the complications with William, it's not really for me.
We made a list of stuff we need for mini-cookie and it's really quite small, which is great. A double buggy, monitor, crib (I like the rocking ones!).....etc. Not much at all. After the scan next Friday we're going to start buying stuff.
In other news my mother-in-law's op was a success and they've removed all the cancer from her lung. She hasn't even got to have chemo! She's been so lucky. She's still in hospital.
Right. It's been good to have a sit-down. William's still asleep. Rebecca is doing my head in, as usual. She's a major pain in the ass. It's now 10 mins til Louis will be here, so I need to disguise my bump somehow - still haven't told his mum!
Adios!
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