Drained

....is how I feel right now.
What a week. Joyce died on Wednesday afternoon at about 4pm. Mike rang me straight after in floods of tears. She had just said 'I love you' to them just before she died....having not spoken for hours. My wonderful husband is in pieces, as you would expect. Stuff round the house keeps on making him cry.....like her writing on the calender. I know I would be exactly the same. It's so upsetting hearing him cry - I hate to think of him so upset, I feel so powerless.
He's coming back tomorrow til Tuesday. Yay! William and I haven't seen him since Monday. I think it will do him good to get away from that house with all her stuff everywhere. He'll then go back to Plymouth til next Friday, come back, pick me and William up and we'll spend Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (day of the funeral) there.
It's all so surreal. Typing this, I still can't believe it's happened. Doesn't seem real. I think the funeral might change that.
Yesterday and today have been rather challenging days. Tuesday and Wednesday I had Beak and Rav over here, which was lovely. William was on top form, and they were bowled over by his cuteness. But the last 2 days William's been really clingy and demanding. It's been so draining - he won't let me so much as have a drink without wanting to drag me somewhere. I'm trying to be as patient as possible, but it's wearying - he's just not been independent at all. And I'm doing all the housey things by myself which Mike normally helps with.......I can't even do the washing up without William insisting I pick him uo. Oh God, typing this, I feel really guilty about snapping at him when I was trying to get him into his pyjamas, and he was playing up. I was just so tired - I didn't mean to. His sleep has gone completely to pot. I can only assume he's a) missing Mike and b) knows something is up. I think tomorrow will be easier, when Mike is back......maybe we could do some nice family things. Have to see what Mike feels like though, obviously.
I really wish Beaky and Rav lived near. They will soon I guess. I'm 22 weeks pregnant, tired, drained, worried about Mike - and I want my mum and dad.
It's 9.43pm, I should probably get to bed, as who knows how many times Sausage will wake me in the night. Was there once a time I used to go out drinking and clubbing on a Friday night?! It was a different me...........even more unbelievably, was there once a time I used to go to bed and actually wake up the next day? With no interruptions? That I can't believe..........