Rambling

I just ate lunch al fresco! It's gorgeous today - sunny and warm . Mmmmmm! I love summer. The winter has been so loooooooooooong, and miserable! I'm listening to Rule the World by Take That on YouTube - must be pregnancy hormones or something, but this song makes me v emotional at the moment.......
Both children are napping. Went to playgroup this morning - William loved it, especially the garage and little cars! Rebecca, of course, screamed her head off for most of it. I'm seriously at the end. of. my. TETHER with this child. I just wanted to have a chat with my friends, play with William and instead I end up getting wound up and just wanting to throw her through a window. She seems to hate playgroup - no idea why. God, she does my head in.
A thought occured to me at lunch - I hope William doesn't pick up on my tenseness. I try to remain calm as much as possible but I'm only human. He gets exasparated with her, just as I do. I want this home to be a happy, chilled home and it doesn't feel like that a lot of the time when she's here. But what can I do? I need to make a big effort to remain calm all the time I guess. 2 months to go.......
Speaking of William, I've also been trying to remain as calm as possible with some of his exasparating toddler-isms. These include:

1) Obsession with the toothpaste. Eating it, smearing it on my toothbrush. Again and again and again.
2) Opening and shutting the fridge, getting food out. Despite my protests. We had a smashed bottle of milk this morning.
3) Leading me by the hand to places when I've just sat down. Like the front room. Or kitchen.
4) Snacking round the clock. Asking for 'more' when he has food in both hands.
5) Shrieking. God, I hate this habit.
6) Lack of interest with ALL of his toys!

I've already fallen into the trap of being pretty lenient with most things to avoid major tantrums. I'm quite a relaxed parent and have fairly relaxed boundaries, but I need to ensure I stick to these boundaries.
I guess I need to be more patient. I thought I was.....I suspect I'm a lot more patient than other parents, but not as patient as I'd like to do. When it takes us 30 mins to walk 5 mins down the road to the shop, I remind myself that everything is fascinating to a 20 month old.....the gates, the bush, the cars. I just want William to feel loved, secure, and safe, and I'm sure he does. I don't want to be an 'exasparated' parent, always tutting and taking deep breaths.
Things will be so much easier when we move. I can't wait. I'm done here. I'm fed up with this place, the people, the lack of interesting stuff to do. If I had a car, or could indeed drive, we could be off somewhere fun this afternoon. Ugh. I feel a bit hard done by I guess. All my mummy friends have their mums nearby and spend loads of time with them in the week. They all have cars. I feel a bit..........isolated. I was going to go to the library this afternoon, but William woke at 5am - yes, 5am!!! - this morning, and the thought of pushing the double buggy up the hill is just too tiring. If I had just William, we could take the bus. So I guess it'll be the park again!
This is a bit of a rambling entry. I'm in a chipper mood, just a bit...........thoughtful. The peace in this room is lovely. No music, no TV. I can hear the birds chirruping. Wish I could take a nap..........